When a live action remake of Mulan was announced earlier this year, many worried that the cast might be disappointing. As more cast announcements are made though, we can tell this movie is shaping up to be a great one! Let’s look at who’s been confirmed so far!
Jennifer Lawrence as Mulan
After the incredible success of The Hunger Games, who better to whitewash the role of a Woman of Color heroine than Jennifer Lawrence? Our pizza loving, future white savior of China gushed to the press about the role recently.
“I’m so excited for this project, I know people are worried but the cast is great and I’m sure everything’s going to turn out all white in the end!”
Zac Efron as Li Shang
After refusing to participate in a High School Musical reunion and releasing a few more movies showing off his abs, millions wondered what could be next for this hunk. Turns out he’s prepping to take on a role in Mulan! No need to worry about authentic costumes for this Chinese warrior, he can just go shirtless!
TJ Miller as Mushu
In the live-action remake, everyone’s favorite dragon Mushu will be played by TJ Miller, known for his role as the voice of Fred in Big Hero 6 amongst other things. When asked how he was preparing for the role, Miller had this to say.
“I feel like I’ve been preparing for this role all my life really. All my work as a comedian has been modelled after Eddie Murphy. I watch Coming to America and Norbit once a week. On some level I think I took on the role in Big Hero 6 in preparation for this, like to get into the head of a friendly fire-breathing hero.”
Danny Devito as Yao
He’s worked with One Direction, he’s thrilled us as Frank in It’s Always Sunny, and now the 72 year old is taking on the role of the short, angry warrior who works with Ling and Chien Po. We can’t wait to see what he does with the character!
Dolly Parton as Grandmother Fa
She’s thrilled audiences across platforms for years, and now Dolly Parton is taking on yet another iconic role. As Miley Cyrus’ real life godmother, as well as her aunt on the TV show Hannah Montana, we just know she has plenty of experience in being an older figure for young women to look up to.
Donald Trump as Emperor of China
That’s right! Not only will he be working on the Apprentice part time as president, he’ll also be working on the production of Mulan. As the soon-to-be leader of the free world, who else would have been right in this role? When asked how he plans to juggle filming and the arms race he intends to start once president, Trump had some wise words.
“Look. The old Mulan? It wasn’t great. I mean, it was okay, but we’re going to do it better. Okay? We’re going to do it better and we’re going to win. And boy are we going to win. Bigly. It’s going to be a big, big success at the box office. And look, China thinks Mulan is about them and they can walk over us, but not anymore. We’re going to do Mulan even better, we’re going to save China, and we’re going to make America great again. Thank you.”
With this star studded cast, we can’t wait to watch the final product in our nuclear bunkers while we wait for the missiles to land. We’re counting down the days!
Note: This article is satire and we really hope the cast of Mulan isn’t this awful