“I’m scared to have sex. I feel like the other person will judge my body. How do I get over this fear?”
From advertisements to television shows to even porn itself, there has been a multitude of factors today that cause immense pressure to look a certain way or be a certain body type. But I say, who gives a f**k. I strongly believe that you should love your body as it is, and even learn to embrace your flaws and imperfections. Your body is truly a temple, a divine extension of yourself, and before you can even think about sharing your body with someone else, please love your own body first.
Body positivity is something you can practice every single day, by silencing negative self-destructive thoughts and instead encouraging positive self-love messages instead. Everyone deserves to love their body, not for the sole purpose of being desirable to the other sex, but to love being the very best YOU that there is. There is no other unique combination of atoms and molecules quite like you, so take pride in that and don’t be so harsh on yourself. Of course everyone has something that they dislike or would want to change, but you have to remember to love yourself overall despite these perceived flaws. That is true self-love.
Especially when it comes to sex, don’t forget that it is also about your own pleasure as well as the other person.
If they have the audacity to judge your body, then they shouldn’t even have the privilege of experiencing your body anyways.
Sex is something that should be enjoyed by both parties, and if you’re going to be spending more time worrying over what the other person thinks of you then that defeats the purpose. Your body does not solely serve to create pleasure for the other person, your body serves only yourself, and that’s the ultimate goal.
My lasting message to anyone self-conscious about their body, and scared to have sex because of this fear, is to love your body. Become familiar with every mountain and valley, every curve and dip, every hair and mole and freckle. Learn to embrace everything you love and don’t love, and when the time for sex comes you’ll be able to actually enjoy it rather than stressing about how you’re perceived. Always strive for healthy sexual relationships, but strive for a healthy relationship with yourself first.
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