Looking at the mirror, I’ve decided to establish a long ‘on hold’ goal which is to lose weight. It becomes more crucial for me to do so since graduation night’s approaching in September and I’ve been wondering how on earth to fit in a tube dress. To be honest, I do feel that my lifestyle has derived into my overweight body proportions and I am aware that it’s not OK for so long. It’s like a bang on the head to actually realize that I should do something to make it otherwise.
I’ve been launching my fitness diary for a week now, and I have a friend that is willing to help me coaching with my exercises (and simply telling me not to stop) and I began to take my food consumptions seriously. I list down everything that I eat in a day in my journal and asking around for advice. Some of the advice that I got was to drink lots of water, be persistent, change the ingredients in what I eat, for example, instead of having sugar biscuits, I should take an oat or wholemeal biscuits instead.
Whenever I look into the mirror, I would see myself and start pinching fats around my body and use it as a motivation to work harder. Little did I know that this ‘motivation’ has become a form of hate against my own self. I have been so obsessive towards this whole fitness diary and started to measure and define myself based on how many spaces that a bracelet has after I insert it around my wrist, how I still could not fit in an M sized shirt and how people would still say, “You don’t look like your mother”. I became very reluctant to the extent that I would just ignore the rumblings of my stomach and distract myself by doing something else. I could see that my grandmother was worried of my food portions, but the sad case was, I didn’t.
Now, I do realize the importance of self-love especially in the process of losing weight. The one who’s backlashing you is yourself in this case, and I also realize that it is unhealthy for my mental health and my efforts will only swallow myself up with negativity. I cannot imagine being fit, but unhealthy. This is not what I agreed to do for myself. Beauty is measured inside out, and I cannot let my inner self being ill and unappreciated.
I have been trying to pick up where I left off and start putting on my party music and enjoy every single bit of my journey, and you should too!
To every person that is struggling to lose weight like I do, please compliment yourself in front of the mirror as this is going to take long. Meanwhile, slay the curves and rock that bod!
