Violence against women, especially in domestic relationships, have been at the forefront of the feminist agenda for some time now. It seems that, in comparison to victims of other types of abuse such as physical abuse, the experience of those who have been in or are currently in an emotionally abusive relationship are invalidated. There is often a widespread lack of compassion for victims of emotional abuse because it is difficult to grasp how traumatizing it can be unless you have experienced it firsthand.
One reason that emotional abuse is often dismissed is that it is often difficult to identify and many victims don’t even realize that they are in an abusive relationship. There are many types of emotional abuse ranging from verbal threats to intimidation. Each experience of emotional abuse is tragically individual, making it hard to set a standard for what classifies as abuse and what does not. Regardless, emotional abuse is a serious threat to victims’ mental health and causes shifts in behaviour and self-perception. Whereas, with physical abuse, there are physical markers of the abuse. Further, physically assaulting a female is widely regarded as wrong. But, the lines between what is right and wrong in relation to emotions are much more blurred. Emotional abuse can be overlooked as someone just expressing their emotions to their significant other.
Distinguishing whether or not one is in an emotionally abuse or toxic relationship can be even more difficult when common manipulation tactics, such as gaslighting, come into play. Gaslighting is when an abusive partner manipulates their partner’s legitimate concerns through denial, trivializing, withholding information, etcetera, which causes their partner to question their own perception and sanity. This second guessing can cause the victim to repress their own feelings and fears, causing emotional abuse to be overlooked once again.
Many individuals base their perception of right and wrong on legality. In Canada, some forms of emotional abuse are criminalized, but most of these laws only protect children, which can be classified as 16 to 19 depending on the province. The only illegal act that can be associated with emotional abuse is threatening to harm another person. The lack of criminalization minimizes the dangers of emotional abuse, especially when other types of abuse, such as sexual and physical, are illegal.
It is long overdue that emotional abuse is widely regarded as a serious issue in modern society. In order to validate victims of this type of abuse, it is crucial that there is more education on the topic starting from a young age. Identifying emotional abuse and managing one’s emotions should be an integrated into elementary school curriculums as a means of preventing future abusers and their consequent victims.
