Greetings fellow peers! Recently, I have found myself grappling with a potent case of senioritis. Although I expected the laziness and desire to only watch Netflix or hang out with friends, I wasn’t prepared for the symptoms I am currently enduring. This is my encounter with senioritis (as dramatic as it may sound).
I was first exposed to the concept of senioritis as a timid freshman overhearing chatty seniors complain of a strange illness that affects their ability to complete their schoolwork and concentrate in class. Later, it was explained to me by a friend and I had concluded I had been struck by the very same illness (mind you, it was the first day of freshman year). At the time I was thoroughly convinced my diagnosis was accurate but now I know I was very wrong.
Fast forward three years and here I am struggling with intense symptoms of a disease constructed on the basis of laziness and eagerness to complete high school. However, senioritis has become something much more intense than I ever thought. For the last three years, I believed I would just become a lazy student who would occasionally complain about a course or teacher, but it’s much more than that.
Now, let’s get down to the nitty-gritty. From my experience, there are two facets to senioritis. The first stage includes the laziness, lack of motivation, and overall attitude of exhaustion. You hear about this from friends, family members, and teen drama movies. The frustration of being so close to the end but not close enough is a prominent feeling in this stage. However, this level is the most shallow part and lacks the severe symptoms I have come to associate with senioritis.
I began to feel the effects of stage two after I had completed all college applications and the end of the year grew closer. In this stage, I developed a small hollow pit in my stomach that yearns to understand how time can move so quickly and misses the days of being a happy little child with short, stubby legs that run around carefree. There are days where I reflect on choices and reminisce a childhood so beautiful and full that it seems a shame for it to have flown by in the blink of an eye. I miss being a toddler cradled in my mother’s arms, playing with my baby dolls, and my bangs swishing into my eyes. As I write this I am overcome with emotion for the sole reason that I had such a wonderful childhood that I wish to relive every day.
An integral part of this stage is a strong desire to know what is in store in the coming months. With most of the college decisions being released in the month of April, I have no idea where I am headed in the fall. This scares me but also fuels an excitement I haven’t felt in a while. I am eager to expand my horizons and embark on the next stage of my life but it is difficult to ignore the fact that everything is changing. By now you can probably tell that change has never been easy for me. There are so many things to look forward to but I am already beginning to miss afternoons on the living room couch, having tostada from my favorite bakery, and daily drives through the streets of my small town. I often question whether I am capable of surviving outside of my comfort zone and this scares me to no end. Most times I can push these negative thoughts away but other times they persist.
Senioritis is more than just feeling lazy and done with the institution of high school, it’s a feeling of wondering what is to come, understanding that things are about to change, and dealing with an intense case of nostalgia.
