All over the internet, there are posts about relationship goals. I have seen endless threads of what makes a relationship become someone else’s dream too.
How relationships are depicted online goes with the consumer culture that I have seen my whole life. Extravagant dates and expensive gifts, vacations and lots of cute pictures; relationship goals. What if this isn’t what makes your relationship? What if you don’t have the money for these diamond demands? What if you are uncomfortable sharing your relationship and letting the whole world in? What if you have been together for three months and have not been on a date? With these standards, I would never be happy with a relationship.
I love my girlfriend and want to give them the world. I, however, am a middle-class teen without work. Meeting relationship goals of buying everything my girlfriend wants is impossible. I barely have enough money to buy a cup of coffee. Also, without a doubt, I would love to go on tons of dates with my girlfriend and spend a lot of time with them, but that is not how things work out. I have things to do. They have things to do. We can’t be together all of the time. Lots of people don’t even see their significant other very often. Both my girlfriend and I are uncomfortable with having our picture taken. This means we don’t take photos together at all. The world can’t see us together if we never pose together.
The relationship goals have weighed me down and made me feel inadequate in a relationship. It has stopped me from engaging in relationships. I don’t fit in with the stereotypical love story. I am not the right size, sexuality, or person for that life, for those goals. on the internet, you can find people like me. People that are in loving relationship and are gay, fat, nonbinary, or all of them. The common image though is nothing like me. If I am bigger than my partner, I can’t wear their clothing. Sapphic couples are usually showcased as two thin ciswomen.
Relationship goals have made me feel unlovable. They have made me feel like an inadequate girlfriend. They have made me feel terrible for things that I can’t control.
Here’s an idea, relationship goals: happiness and love between those in the relationship, great communication and decision making, understanding each other’s physical, mental, and virtual boundaries.
